Us 1 - Bug 0

I got up that morning early to get a nice head start on my day. I put the dogs out in the yard; as they were prancing like their bladders might explode if they waited even another second. There was a fine drizzle in the air, not enough to constitute a full rain but certainly enough to make everything wet in the new morning air. The dogs, in typical dog fashion, urinated in turns, each peeing on the spot the previous dog peed on. I open the door and let all three back in and then rush to the bathroom. All that peeing made me feel as though I was going to burst!

I sit down and see a giant, and I mean giant, palmetto bug crawl between my legs into my open pajama pants! OMG!! I screamed and ripped the pants from my body. In retrospect, it was probably the world's fastest stripping. Where are those Guinness book people when you need them? My husband, from a dead sleep, ran to the bathroom; all too familiar with the noise he just heard. He arrived with a boot in hand. He noticed my pajama pants crumpled on the floor close to the bathroom door and immediately went into action; beating the article of clothing with his boot. It was quite the site to see this grown man, with sleep still in the corner of his eye and hair sticking up in different directions; whaling on my pj pants.

When all was said and done, it was us 1 - bug 0.

Now, in case you're asking yourself if I give birth to palmetto bugs; the answer is no. The stupid thing took a nice ride on one of our dogs coming in from the backyard (oak trees are nice, and palmetto bugs think so too).